Time to start thinkin' 'bout the Election

       Let me start by saying the perpetual election cycle we live in is making me dizzy. It seems to me that as soon as the last election was over, both parties started to position themselves for the next one, not the mid-term, but the presidential election four years later. Not only is this American war-weary, but I'm election-weary. 

It seems to me there should be some kind of rule/moratorium/law that limits, or defines the dates prior to elections that candidates can run. After all, we did elect them to run our country, not for reelection, didn't we?

Our elected officials, at least on a national level, seem to be interested in preserving their jobs and not working to make our way of life better. The right wing is pandering to their corporate leash-holders. While the left moans and groans about how unfair it is that they don't get the support they need.

The right criticizes and demonizes our President and anyone who does not whole-heartedly endorse their point of view, while not finding any alternatives. They just say what is wrong and do not suggest better alternatives. And the left just continues to shoot themselves in the foot instead of using this time to build a plan to win.

olc

P.S. It is funny how these things work. When I started this post, I planned on writing about something completely different...What was that? Oh a new shiny object to distract me, maybe a squirrel, or a cute kitten... 

A Question of Racism

I deliver things, that is what I do. A few years ago, I cooked for people, but that was a lifetime in the past. Now I deliver things.

Here is a little anecdote for your perusal and moral valuation.

Let me start by saying that I try to be open minded and do indeed attempt to overcome my shortfalls. We all have our prejudices and how we deal with them shows something of the character of the person.

Yesterday Nelson Mandela past away and his passing is on the minds of every one. He was a great man who helped to shape more than his country. Our world is a better place because of what he stood for. Frankly, our government could learn a lesson or two from that esteemed man.

Now for my little yarn:

I had been making deliveries all day long and finally made it to my last one, yey! I got to the house and waited for the gate to open. Yes, it was a place that had a gate and lots of money behind it to protect. As I was pulling up to the garage the owner came out to greet me. This is normal in many cases, the owner has been waiting for their package and wants to finally see it.

Usually I go over the steps of the delivery and begin to think about what the conversation will be like. Usually the conversation is only the mechanics of the delivery, where to put the box, where to sign on the forms, and have a nice day. Sometimes though, the customer and I will talk about things little more then the banal basics and I like to be ready for this.

As I was backing up to the garage, I saw the guy was black. This is nothing unusual, but the first thing I thought of was the death of Mandela and what this man thought of the ramifications of it.

Then I remembered that I had not felt the urge to have this conversation with any one else all day long. I thought about this for a moment and wondered if I was being a little hypocritical. Yet I was curious to know what he thought about the subject. 

I decided to wait and see if the man would open the subject and if he did, then I could query him about it. Yet it still bothered me that I felt the need to even ask the question of this man in the first place.

The subject never came up and all we talked about was where he wanted the package put. And that was that. He got his stuff and I left.

I like to think I am a progressive thinker and open minded, yet I run into this kind of thing once in a while and I wonder if I am the person I want to be, or am I merely acting that way.

What do you think?

olc 

Requiem for Brian

When I started going through the rituals I do before writing, my iTunes list popped up. Some song came up automatically, I think it was Dream On, by Aerosmith. That song always sends me into an introverted mood. The next was Sad Lisa, by Cat Stevens.

This song brought me back to Brian.

I have written a few of these letters of memorial for important people in my life---kinda wish I didn’t feel the need. It seems like the only profound emotions I have are lose and sorrow.

Working at Doc’s brought out some of my less noble traits. My issues were not the fault of Doc’s, I have always had them. My addictions and narcissism would have come through at some point with or without that place. There were, and still are I presume, some very special people there. People who enabled me to keep ahold of the core person I am. 

Brian was one.

I cannot say that he was a close friend, though I wish I could. He was loyal and kind and even powerful in his own way. He could always come back with a smart-ass remark and a smile while he did it. How could anyone be mad at him? When talking to him, one knew that he was all about you. That guy got more women under his arm than most straight guys! (NOT FAIR!) Yet through all his joviality, there was strength and wisdom.

When he came out to me, I was going through some trivial shit with the mother of my daughter, another in a long list. Brian listened to my rants and meaningless drivel without any judgement. I don’t even remember what he said, or what the problem was, yet I remember feeling better about my life. Then he said I needed to hear what he had to say. I was able to step above my self serving morass and really listen to him.

Truth is, I don’t really remember the details of the conversation, just the feelings. Honesty was the strongest among them. Pain too. After work that night, we went to the Chattahoochee River and talked for hours. We just sat there and talked.

Working at Doc’s and being gay, must have been difficult, way beyond my understanding. Yet he felt safe enough to tell me. I wonder if I was one of the first guys to know. I’ll never know. I have never talked about this, even after it was common knowledge; he asked that of me.

During my worst times, when some one I needed to trust was betraying it thus destroying the silly dream world I was trying to build, Brian was there as a friend, a confidant, yes even as a shoulder to lean on. He gave me permission, if you will, to stop being an idiot.

Now iTunes has queued Meatloaf’s Heaven Can Wait. No it can’t. Heaven, or whatever, has taken a good man. Though I have not been in touch with him for a very long time, I always knew if I needed to, I could always reach out to him. Now I cannot. My world has been profoundly shaken. I know that I will always be able to reach out/in to memories and feel him, but he is gone forever and always. My world has been profoundly shaken.